Late July 2018 I was returning to my desk to get back to work. I was still in the kitchen when I suddenly felt off and leaned again a cabinet door to my left. I caught my breath and continued on a couple steps. I lost my breath and I stepped onto carpet so I leaned against the wall to my immediate right... and then I collapsed to the floor. F**********ck......... I thought. This can't be good. I was able to crawl a few paces to my desk and reach up for my newest cell phone.
     It wasn't a Samsung Galaxy so I was a bit thrown by this cheaper Samsung. I called my husband at work who was not at his desk so I called one of his workmates instead.... A different guy answered the phone and I got confused, not thinking I could be dialing someone else. After 3 failed attempts and 15ish minutes later, said husband came through the garage door and into the house. He knew what questions to ask then asked me if I wanted him to call paramedics....
      "Yeah... good idea", I remember saying. For a second time in an ambulance then a second time I was in a helicopter to a different hospital, I got to remember being in these emergency vehicles. Not as exciting when you're conscious and coherent, despite what you might think.... Adhering to my paternal history, I had an early age hemorrhagic stroke at 45. Greeeaaat.... This explains why I just couldn't see a life "after 50". Life as I knew it dramatically changed. Bills and amount of free-floating dog hair came freely from everywhere. And my high stress job cut me loose. Escaping that job was a blessing in disguise.
     I could no longer go anywhere by myself. I can no longer walk without a regular or hemi-walker. Where I used to walk dogs about 4.5 miles every morning... I was suddenly lucky to walk across the room without being wore out. Seven+ years later, I can make it across the house and back to my desk but I need to take a break. My biceps are in the most pain from bracing during each step. In having Rigid Spasticity, my body is bracing for a fall that never comes. It feel like my biceps are in an ever-tightening vice. Mentally, this wears me out more than anything.
      So now.... Here is where I kept my brain engaged in my nerd work and documented the adventures in strokeville....