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Late July 2018 I was returning
to my desk to get back to work. I was still in the kitchen when I
suddenly felt off and leaned again a cabinet door to my left. I
caught my breath and continued on a couple steps. I lost my breath
and I stepped onto carpet so I leaned against the wall to my
immediate right... and then I collapsed to the floor.
F**********ck......... I thought. This can't be good. I was able to
crawl a few paces to my desk and reach up for my newest cell phone.
It wasn't a Samsung Galaxy so I was a bit
thrown by this cheaper Samsung. I called my husband at work who was
not at his desk so I called one of his workmates instead.... A
different guy answered the phone and I got confused, not thinking I
could be dialing someone else. After 3 failed attempts and 15ish
minutes later, said husband came through the garage door and into
the house. He knew what questions to ask then asked me if I wanted
him to call paramedics....
"Yeah... good idea", I remember
saying. For a second time in an ambulance then a second time I was
in a helicopter to a different hospital, I got to remember being in
these emergency vehicles. Not as exciting when you're conscious and
coherent, despite what you might think.... Adhering to my paternal
history, I had an early age hemorrhagic stroke at 45. Greeeaaat....
This explains why I just couldn't see a life "after 50". Life as I
knew it dramatically changed. Bills and amount of free-floating dog
hair came freely from everywhere. And my high stress job cut me
loose. Escaping that job was a blessing in disguise.
I could no longer go anywhere by myself. I
can no longer walk without a regular or hemi-walker. Where I used to
walk dogs about 4.5 miles every morning... I was suddenly lucky to
walk across the room without being wore out. Seven+ years later, I
can make it across the house and back to my desk but I need to take
a break. My biceps are in the most pain from bracing during each
step. In having Rigid Spasticity, my body is bracing for a fall that
never comes. It feel like my biceps are in an ever-tightening vice.
Mentally, this wears me out more than anything.
So now.... Here is where I kept my
brain engaged in my nerd work and documented the adventures in
strokeville....